smSECTION SEVENTEEN
POETRY PAGE THREE
sm
COLUMN
FIFTY-SEVEN, MARCH 1, 2001
(Copyright
© 2001 Al
Aronowitz)
[Bob Rosenthal,
who studied poetry under Paul Carroll, Ted Berrigan, Joel Oppenhiemer, Bernadette Mayer,
and Alice Notley, is a poet and a writer who has co-written and produced five plays. His 1970's Cleaning Up New York was
regarded as a cult classic. His latest
collection of poetry is Viburnum (White Fields Press, Tennessee). He has taught workshops at The Poetry Project,
Snug Harbor, and the Naropa Institute. He
worked as Allen Ginsberg's secretary for 20 years until Allen’s death and currently
is a Trustee of the Allen Ginsberg Trust. Bob
is also an adjunct Professor of English at New York Technical College. He is currently writing his account on the
business of Allen Ginsberg and has written three other books of poetry, Morning Poems,
(Yellow Press, Chicago, 1972), Rude Awakenings, (Yellow Press, Chicago. 1976) and Eleven
Psalms (1999). He is married and has two
sons.]
LOVING MONOGAMY
for Jesse Helms
first I got boners like all boys get
they just happen surprising in the pants
standing up awkward stuck when wanting to run
my psychiatrist explained that they resulted from pleasant thought
but I didn't really have pleasant thoughts I
don't think
sixth grade Chris Byrne told me about orgasms
"You see you rub your dick while having
sexy thoughts
best if you do it in the bathtub well you rub and rub until some liquid
comes
"
but what are sexy thoughts?
I tried I imagined girls I knew naked I
pulled on my dick
and Lo
it rose some
but no liquid no big deal in fact no pubic hair
does "practice makes perfect"?
yes the first coming was just a tiny pearl
a small bead of clear liquid
time increased the flow
a boner
no longer an event out of the blue
I sought to learn their ways
&
means
looking for sexy
case studies among Father's
medical books
I pulled down an ancient copy of Havelock Ellis
I turned from the bizarre case histories to a description of
the cure for masturbation
what an ugly word!
Is that what this nice thing is really called -- Mas -- turb -- a-- shun?
the patient enters a small closet
masturbates into a little flask
next a glass rod coated with
silver nitrate
is
inserted up his urethra
plumb down the middle of the penis
medical manuals should have expiration dates!
I felt sick -- I told the boy next door about the "cure"
he
turned chalky
luckily I read more and found modern books
it was OK! I wasn't sick!
years ejaculated by
I had few dates fewer
kisses
fantasies
multiplied
the same summer I met you I first dated her
she kissed openly and there was the sweet thing I had been told about
a lively wet tongue greeting
mine
new taste buds erupted!
she didn't mind me feeling her breasts under
her cotton top
or her
ass through her panties
she let me feel her cunt once notwithstanding briefs
"O my America! my new-found-land,"
Donne
she sighed a deep moan & I wet myself properly
her sweet heaving gave me insight into real pleasure
the giving is as good as it gets
*
* *
I
had met you and I wasn't so wild to touch you
it wasn't my fantasy I was growing fast
you kissed fine and came back for more
you stopped wearing bras
I was shyer about putting my hands between your legs
I lost my resolve
you told
me to
then a little later you grabbed my prick while we made out
on your living room couch
your Mom in the kitchen
you pulled it out and squeezed it nice
This was the first time a hand other than mine groped my gland
I closed my pants you smiled at me
then shortly before your eighteenth birthday -- twenty years ago
in my room Home Base! we both knew we were virgins
I expected lots of blood the condom felt weird
I became a little limp -- it was hard going in
you helped with routing and made unhappy gasps
my prick
seemed to detour and hurt
that was it we were at the point where
we could
start to love each other
no going back -- slowly fucking got even better
we used coitus interruptus -- nothing fancy
strictly missionary and only me coming
I wondered why you didn't come too what was I doing wrong?
I became obsessed about wanting you to come
I only used my fingers and rubbed your clitoris while you alternated
closer and farther
close and far it took many trials
I got better more sensitive more teasing and less delivery
finally one day while my fingers grew numb
my mind traveled far to a green
continent
you had your orgasm!
so I further tried to make you come and I went down with my mouth
and felt
it was good
I liked the taste I liked the
smell I liked the way it sounds
I liked the ripples and valleys the
holes and cheeks
I got extra excited around the anus and you did too
so excited we got married
we learned all the positions you went on top you took the pill
we did it doggy and sideways
outdoors & in cars
you sucked me and liked it we lay in
sixtynine
I put a finger in your rear and one up your vagina
the other hand teasing your breasts
then
nipples
sometimes tugging
tonguing your clit
in the landscape the mountains are moving
closer
whenever we got into a rut it was because I pulled your panties up into your
crack and licked your hairs and smelled the sweat
I always figured that the two fucks that begat our kids were
probably
dull ones
although we used the diaphram you suggested omitting it
I was eager but less vigorous
afraid to tee off on the open range
you were ready to conceive --
I couldn't miss
two boys came out of the wilderness
*
* *
I have had this argument
with Allen
he doesn't believe in monogamy
he grows old and his lovers do not
I don't think you have to fuck
different people
to fuck everybody
to grow in pleasure and experience
mutual growth is synergistic
I can fantasize
three guys holding you down
fucking your mouth and teats and cunt all at once
you answer
I know it's not your fantasy and in fact it's not my fantasy
it's a prairie wind burning the tall grass of old plots
words are letters conjugating
we have been monogamous for twenty years
all our fucking is safe sex
our sex is unworthy, savage and easy
our gender is monogamous
that's what love in marriage is!
September 29,
-- October 3, 1989 ##
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